Mom shares her son's heartbreaking last days

It's been two months since Ruth Scully lived every parent's nightmare. Now, she is sharing her story on Facebook in hopes that it can bring change.

On February 4, 2017, Scully's son Nolan lost his battle with Rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of cancer that affects soft tissue. In an ode to her son, Scully shared a photo collage on Facebook showing the harsh realities of childhood cancer.

She explains that during his struggle 4-year-old Nolan refused to leave her side, even lying on the bathroom floor when she showered.

The first picture shows Nolan on a bathmat. It was taken before he left for the hospital to start an aggressive chemotherapy regimen. The second picture, taken on the two-month anniversary of his death, shows the same bathmat, this time without Nolan.

"Now I'm the one terrified to shower," Scully wrote in her post. "With nothing but an empty shower rug now where once a beautiful perfect little boy laid waiting for his Mommy."

Story of Mom

Two months. Two months since I've held you in my arms, heard how much you loved me, kissed those sweetie "pie" lips. Two months since we've snuggled. Two months of pure absolute Hell.

I've wanted for a long time to write a little about Nolan's last days. His last few days shined with how amazing my son is. How beautiful he is. How he was made of nothing but pure love. This may be long, but bear with me, it's agony unlike any other.

When I brought Nolan to the hospital for the last time, I knew there was something else wrong other than just a lingering case of C-DIFF. I just knew, and strange enough, I think he did too. He hadn't eaten or drank anything in days and was continually vomiting.

On February 1st we were sat down with his ENTIRE team. When his Oncologist spoke, I saw the pure pain in her eyes. She had always been honest with us and fought along side of us the whole time, but his updated CT scan showed large tumors that grew compressing his bronchial tubes and heart within four weeks of his open chest surgery. The Mestatic Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma was spreading like wild fire. She explained at this time she didn't feel his Cancer was treatable as it had become resistant to all treatment options we had tried and the plan would be to keep him comfortable as he was deteriorating rapidly.

After a while, I composed myself and went into Nolan's room. He was sitting in "Mommy's Red Chair" watching YouTube on his Tablet. I sat down with him and put my head up against his and had the following conversation:

Me: Poot, it hurts to breathe doesn't it?
Nolan: Weeeelll.... yeah.
Me: You're in a lot of pain aren't you baby?
Nolan: (looking down) Yeah.
Me: Poot, this Cancer stuff sucks. You don't have to fight anymore.
Nolan: (Pure Happiness) I DONT??!! But I will for you Mommy!!
Me: No Poot!! Is that what you have been doing?? Fighting for Mommy??
Nolan: Well DUH!!
Me: Nolan Ray, what is Mommy's job?
Nolan: To keep me SAFE! (With a big grin)
Me: Honey ... I can't do that anymore here. The only way I can keep you safe is in Heaven. (My heart shattering)
Nolan: Sooooo I'll just go to Heaven and play until you get there! You'll come right?
Me: Absolutely!! You can't get rid of Mommy that easy!!
Nolan: Thank you Mommy!!! I'll go play with Hunter and Brylee and Henry!!

The next day he was resting, as he slept most of the days after. We had Hospice on board, all his IV medications, even his DNR signed. (I cannot explain to you what signing an Emergency Responder "Do Not Resuscitate" order for your angelic son feels like. ) When he woke up we had the van packed and I had his shoes in my hand to take him home for the evening. We just wanted ONE more night together. But as he woke, he gently put his hand on mine and said "Mommy, it's ok. Let's just stay here ok?" My 4 year old Hero was trying to make sure things were easy for me....

So in between sleeping for the next 36 hours, we played, watched YouTube, shot Nerf Gun after Nerf Gun and smiled as many times as we could. An hour or so before he passed he even filled out a "Will"! We laid in bed together and he sketched out how he wanted his funeral, picked his pall bearers, what he wanted people to wear, wrote down what he was leaving each of us, and even wrote down what he wanted to be remembered as... which of course was a Policeman.

About 9:00pm we were watching YouTube in bed (Peppa Pig actually) and I asked Nolan if I could get in the shower, as I was not allowed to leave him and Mommy had to be touching him at all times. He said "Ummmm ok Mommy. Have Uncle Chris come sit with me and I'll turn this way so I can see you". I stood at the bathroom door, turned to him and said "Keep looking right here Poot, I'll be out in two seconds". He smiled at me. I shut the bathroom door. They said the moment the bathroom door clicked he shut his eyes and went into a deep sleep, beginning the end of life passing.

When I opened the bathroom door, his Team was surrounding his bed and every head turned and looked at me with tears in their eyes. They said "Ruth, he's in a deep sleep. He can't feel anything". His respirations were extremely labored, his right lung had collapsed and his oxygen dropped.

I ran and jumped into bed with him and put my hand on the right side of his face. Then a miracle that I will never forget happened....

My angel took a breath, opened his eyes, smiled at me and said "I Love You Mommy", turned his head towards me and at 11:54 pm Sgt. Rollin Nolan Scully passed away as I was singing "You are My Sunshine" in his ear.

He woke up out of a coma to say he loved me with a smile on his face! My son died a Hero. He brought Communities together, different occupations, made a difference in people's lives all around the world. He was a warrior who died with dignity and love to the last second.

All Nolan ever wanted to do was to serve and protect others, he did just that all the way up to his last breath and continues to do so every day. He loved his family fiercely and everyone of his "friends"!

I look at everything he accomplished in 4 short years and can only think of what he could've accomplished with a longer life. But sadly because of Childhood Cancer (Rhabdomyosarcoma to be specific), the world and our family will miss out on someone so full of love, who just wanted to protect and serve. We HAVE to do better with funding, research, treatment options. Below is a picture that seemed to grab everyone's attention because my son was terrified to leave my side, even as I showered.

Now I'm the one terrified to shower. With nothing but an empty shower rug now where once a beautiful perfect little boy laid waiting for his Mommy.

Since posting the photo on April 4, Nolan's story has been shared over 620,000 times.

"Anybody with kids has seen their children laying on the floor before. I think that's why the picture grabbed so many people, it's real," Scully told CNN. It took Scully two months until she was ready to write the post, but she felt she owed it to everyone who had kept up with Nolan's story.

"He read every comment anyone would leave him. I felt like Nolan would have wanted to talk to his friends and tell them what happened, " Scully said.

The post received a wave of support with 147,000 people commenting their own stories of brave children fighting like Nolan did.

"When it went viral, I couldn't help but think that's what he wanted," Scully said.

As she recounted memories of her son, she described him as a protector, always helping those around him. Even when he was in the hospital sick, he would leave his room to go and comfort other children who were scared or crying.

Now his story is helping parents across the world come to terms with problems in their own life.

"Maybe this was Nolan's purpose, maybe he's still helping people even in death," Scully said.

A Special Ending

Nolan was in treatment for over a year, and despite having a tumor completely removed, the cancer ultimately made its way into his lungs. After running out of treatment options, all Scully could do was make Nolan's final days comfortable.

While the situation was seemed bleak, Nolan found optimism. In fact, he even left instructions for his funeral. "I asked if he wanted people to be happy or sad at his funeral. He looked at me confused and said 'Happy, why would anybody be sad?" Scully said.

Nolan planned everything even down to his "will" where he divvied up his belongings. He made sure his family received his favorite stuffed animals, his beloved cheese balls, and even the popcorn shrimp he left in the freezer.

Nolan told his mother he wanted to be remembered as a policeman.

It wasn't all serious business during his last 36 hours. "We played, watched YouTube, shot Nerf Gun after Nerf Gun and smiled as many times as we could," Scully wrote.

In their last few hours together Scully went to take a shower. When she came out, she saw a medical team surrounding her son. He had slipped into a coma, "beginning the end of life passing," she said. She ran to her son.

But something amazing happened.

Nolan, despite suffering a collapsed lung, took a breath, opened his eyes, and said "I love you Mommy."

He died shortly after, as his mother sang "You are my Sunshine" to him

A Legecy of Love

Scully hopes two things come of sharing Nolan's story. The first, that others will learn from the legacy he left behind. "Nolan showed everyone how people should be treated, and how you should take care of one another. He was made of nothing but love and goodness," Scully said.

She also hopes this post serves as a wake up call to raise awareness. After Nolan's death, his oncologist told Scully something she will always remember.

"We didn't fail him, it was medicine that failed him," Scully repeated.

Nolan finally found rest after his fight, but Scully is still set on hers -- finding a cure.